A smile can brighten your day; A smile can make problems go away; A smile is the easiest way to look better; Your smile can make YOU feel better any day.
I met a young man at work today. He’s mum says that he is beyond help. His problem was that he was too picky an eater and it is causing alot of inconvenience to the family. He was all grumpy when he was sent to me. Mum says that he has seen a child psychiatrist but she has not seen a single ounce of improvement in his behavior. Apparently the child psychiatrist couldn’t get him to listen to her even after 12 sessions. I wondered why.
So I invited this young man to have a chat with me. I gave him the due respect a charming young gentleman deserved and the very first thing I did was to give him a warm smile. Then, I validated him.
If only I could show you how well he behaved after he was validated. He stayed put in the chair, answered all my questions with full honesty and was absolutely cooperative. It was a very enjoyable experience with him.
What’s the secret? People need to be validated. I feel that in our present society, we try to find out what’s wrong with people so much that we forget to see what’s right. We have so many tests out there that focus on what’s wrong about a person. It’s an irony that we focus so much on the negative because fundamentally what we need is to know what’s right. We all have that need in us to know what’s right about us but where are we going to get this if every one is just seeing what’s wrong in every one else? That’s what I did to the young gentleman, I showed him what’s right with him.
In your working life, you are bound to meet tough nuts, critical employees and pushy bosses. It’s a natural response that we might feel offended when they constantly dig out what’s wrong with us and our work. Wouldn’t it feel much better if they pointed out what’s great about us and instead of saying what’s wrong, say what can be improved? I’m sure you do know how it feels to be put down. Why wait for these people to validate you? Start with yourself. Start with a simple smile and then validate the people around you, start telling people what’s great about them and see the changes that take place in people each time you do.
That’s what I do in my practice of hypnotherapy. I help people emphasize the goodness within, because from within lies the key. When people feel great about themselves, they will feel great about you. Only when this is accomplished can whole hearted cooperation follow!
*Your homework for the next 24hours is to smile to every person who locks eyes with you and to validate the people who ask you for help!